


Layers

by WhoInWhoville



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Silly, boxers or briefs?, old stuff i'm putting back up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 11:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10555518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: "So Doctor, boxers or briefs?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hit the jackpot today! I found a TON of old writing! So here's a lesson and a warning, I suppose: I deleted everything from online, from my hard drive, iCloud, AND my TimeMachine backup drive. And I STILL found everything that I had written. @.@ So it is true what they say: nothing is gone once you create it electronically.
> 
> So this was way back from ElJay days. 2011 maybe? If I remember correctly, there was a long very humorous discussion thread about the Doctor and pants. This sprang from my weird brain.

“So Rose, boxers or briefs?”

“Which guy, Doctor?”

“That one — in the purple velour track suit.”

“{guffaws}”

“Now don’t judge his fashion sense. It’s a valid choice.”

“Right. But _definitely_ bikini. He’s wearing purple track pants, Doctor, and medallions and chains around his neck. And oh, a pinkie ring, too. Yeah, bikinis. Probably match his track suit. What about, hmmm, him? In the jeans and tight tee shirt?”

“Definitely not boxers. They'd bunch up. Very uncomfortable. {grimaces}”

“What about… that bloke there. The one in the kilt.”

“Oh. Now that’s a question isn’t it?”

“Personal experience you got? With a kilt?”

“Maaaaybeee…”

“{grins}”

“What’s the question again, Rose?”

“Boxers or briefs… _or_ …”

“Or? There’s an or?”

“Course there’s an or. There’s always an or when it comes to kilts. Everyone wonders. What do men wear under their kilt?”

“Cheeky, Rose.”

“Is that a hint?”

“No!”

“So…”

“So…”

“So what about you? Boxers or briefs, Doctor?”

“What? What?! There is a _very_ personal question, Rose Tyler.”

“I asked you, boxers… or… briefs?”

“Or.”

“You’re going with _or_?”

"Get that smile off of your face, Rose. Not a _kilt_ kind of 'or’. A different 'or’.”

“No. Way. You wear a thong?”

“NO!” {clears throat} “I wear… both…”

“Both? Whaddya mean both?”

“Exactly what I said. Both.”

“Both like one day it’s boxers, the next, briefs?”

“Nope. Both.”

“Both!? Really? At the same time?”

“Yep.”

“So, you have, let’s see how many layers on then? The Joplin coat, the pinstriped suit jacket, dress shirt, tee-shirt, vest, tie… and on the bottom you have trousers, boxers, and then briefs?”

“Nope. Trousers, briefs, and _then_ boxers. More logical that way.”

"How's that more logical? The tightest should be closet to the... erm... body."

"Yes, but I don't want lines. So I tuck the boxers inside the briefs."

"I so did not want to hear that, and yeah, that makes total sense."

"Are you rolling your eyes at me, Rose?"

“’Course not. But why both?"

“Well, that is a rather a personal question, Rose. What’s with you and all of the personal questions?”

“Oh don’t be so touchy. You brought it up, wanting to play 'Boxers or Briefs' in Hyde Park. So I think it’s only fair that you tell me _why_ you wear both boxers and briefs.”

“Why do _you_ think I wear both?”

“‘Cos you’re cold?”

“Nope.”

“You’re incontinent?”

“Rose Tyler! That was rude! I may be 900 years old, but I am certainly not incontinent!”

“You are not 900, that’s like 39 in Time Lord years. You’re closer to the magic One Zero Zero Zero.”

“Am not.”

“Are so.”

“Am not. How’d we end up on the topic of my age?”

“Pants. You were going to tell me why you wear both boxers and briefs.”

“Protection.”

"Protection? From what?"

“No need to screech.”

“This is screech-worthy.” 

“Anyyywayyyy, there are all sorts of dangers in the universe Rose, and I must protect my manly bits. I am the last of the Time Lords after all. Who knows when the occasion may arise—“

{snort}

“…when the occasion may… _present itself_ … that I wish to procreate.”

”{blushing} Really?”

“Biological imperative for every species. So. What about you, Rose?"

"What about me what?"

"Bikini or..."

“Errrr, or."

“You wear both, too? That’s brilliant!”

“No you plum! A different kind of _or_ , and not the kilt kind.”

"Ohhhhhhhh!”

“Get that smug grin offa your face. They’re a valid choice.

“Oh yes, _very_ valid. Rose, you’re blushing.”

“Well…”

"You're the one wearing... _or_ knickers. Don't you wear 'em so that I will have this particular look on my face?"

“{Clears throat}. So… What about before? When you wore black leather. Boxers or briefs?"

"Or." {eyebrow waggling}


End file.
